Sometimes it Hurts Instead
by I Punch Werewolves 4 Fun
Summary: Living with the regrets over memories and past mistakes, a trip home to confront them brings reality to the forefront. All human, drabble fic.
1. Chapter 1

Look! A drabble fic! I'm planning to update this once a day, chapters will be short. I'm using this as a writing exercise, get me to write daily. Enjoy.

SM owns all things Twilight

Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You'. Which is inspiration for the plot and title.

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><p><em>It was all the same. <em>

That's what I thought when I pulled up to my childhood home for the first time in eight years. My mother's immaculate flower beds. My father's fishing boat parked next to the garage; still dripping from an early morning trip to the lake.

I felt like if I turned around I would see that old rusty beater I drove in high school instead of the shiny new Audi I bought a few months back.

Even walking in the front door was reminiscent as the smell of burnt cookies greeted me. More often than not some part of my dinner was slightly charred if not inedibley burnt.

"Mom?" I called out. She came racing from the kitchen, a bit a smoke in her wake-most likely from the blackened cookies.

"My baby!" she exclaimed, hugging me tight. She pulled away, grasping my face between her hands, "You're home. You're finally home."

"Yeah, mom," I smiled tightly, praying she couldn't see through me. That she couldn't tell the reason for my visit wasn't exactly what she thought. "I'm home."


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the daily dose.

SM owns it

Chapter 2

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><p>Knowing my mother, I would have put money on the fact that my old bedroom was exactly as I had left it. The thought of facing the memories held within those four walls caused my chest to tighten. I was nowhere near ready to head upstairs, and looked around for an excuse to avoid it.<p>

"Where's dad?" I asked heading into the kitchen, to see if I could salvage anything off the cookie sheet.

"He got called into work, sweetie. You know that place would fall to the ground without him," she waved a dismissing hand in the air before gesturing to the black disks. "So what do you think? Can we get away with scrapping the burnt parts off?"

"Uh, no. Definitely not. I can help you make some new ones."

"That sounds great, but you'd have to run to the store first. I didn't even have enough flour for these, had to use cornmeal."

"No problem mom," I said with wide eyes at her unique baking admission. "I'll grab some stuff for dinner too, just… Don't cook anything until I get back."

I drove to the Thriftway in a daze. Other than some chipped paint the town was just as recognizable as my parents house.

Not even the layout of the market was different, it only took me a few minutes to get everything I needed. I was so lost in trying to find something moved or changed since I was last here I didn't notice the cashier.

"Oh my God!" the curly haired and pregnant women in front of me exclaimed!

"Uh, hey Jess."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

You guys make me smile with your sweet reviews.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Somone Like You'-which lead to this story's title and plot.

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><p>Awkwardly she tried reaching over the belt for a hug, not getting far because of her stomach. I put my hand up and told her to stop. "Let me just come around to you."<p>

"How have you been, girl?" Jess asked, looking me over from head to toe. "It's been ages since I last saw you!"

"I'm great." I replied, only half lying. "Really, really great. How are you? How's Mike? Is he excited?:" I asked gesturing towards her baby bulge.

The smile on her face disappeared as she rubbed her stomach. "No. Mike could care less considering we broke up five years ago-so he could be with Lauren. Eric is overjoyed, though."

"Yorkie? You're baby's daddy is Eric Yorkie?"

"No, Eric is more than this child's father, he's my husband."

"Jess, I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't know, I haven't been around in so long."

"That's right you didn't and you haven't," she huffed. "You were my best friend, and you just disappeared, left anything that had to do with Forks behind."

"It wasn't like that Jess. Things just got… complicated."

"Yeah, well things shouldn't be complicated for you anymore…"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Edward's married now."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

This one may hurt a little.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You' which is where the plot and title came from.

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><p>I couldn't have told answered if asked how I got home, though from the fact my car was in the driveway my guess would be I drove. Nothing was registering in my head, I only had one thought; <em>Edward was married now<em>.

After walking in the door I mumbled an excuse to my mother, claiming I needed to lay down before we got to work in the kitchen. The trepidation I had over walking into my room was all but gone. I figured being enclosed by all those memories couldn't be any worse than knowing Edward had moved on.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Standing in the open doorway my eyes scanned over every inch of that room. There was not one spot I looked that didn't make my chest ache. Pictures of us from dances, games, nights out and parties. Your old football sweatshirt thrown over my desk chair

A teddy bear from Valentines day. My sash and your crown from senior prom. A note tacked to my message board, movie ticket stubs tapped all around the vanity mirror.

And the silly plastic rose you bought me after a fight. You gave me a bouquet full of real flowers and told me 'When the last ones shrivels and dies… That's when I'll stop loving you'.

_So much for that sentiment, _I thought bitterly before flopping on my bed_._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sorry about the lack of post yesterday... I went to Boston on Wednesday night for a Bobby Long concert (which was beyond awesome! And my Fic wives even managed to finagle getting me a picture with him) and stayed overnight. By the time I got back home Thursday I was in a miserable mood due to the rain and cold and needed to nap before work (I work from 11pm-7am). So, as I said on twitter yesterday, 2 posts tonight. Here's the first...

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the inspiration for the title and the song that formed the plot-Someone like you.

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><p>After hiding in my room for some time I decided to dry my eyes and head down to help my mother.<p>

As soon as I walked into the living room where she was watching one of her soap operas, she gave me a concerned look. But being the amazing mom that she is, didn't question it, just gave me a tight hug and asked what I was making for dinner.

We had set to work with her chopping vegetables and me doing… everything else.

Just as the stir fry was finishing up my dad walked through the door. He greeted me with a hug and told me he was glad to have me home for a few days.

After we ate, mom and I sent dad into the living room to watch a ball game and we got started on the new cookies.

I had just put the first tray into the oven and sat down to have some hot cocoa when mom finally got too curious.

"You know I love you and I'm excited you've finally come home to visit, but why now? What's going on, sweetie?"

"I don't know what you mean," I lied. Quickly I got up and started washing our dishes from supper. "I just missed you guys, missed Forks."

"You can't lie to me," she said softly, standing next to me and wrapping an arm around me. "I'm your momma, I know you better than anyone in this whole world. Now, tell your momma what's wrong, baby girl."

It took a minute, but eventually I looked at her and whispered one word. It was all she needed to hear in order to understand.

"Edward."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Stick with me... And maybe question some things... I'm curious to hear any ideas and theories you all have.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns 'Someone Like You', which is the plot and title inspiration.

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><p>"Oh, my baby," my mom cooed, pulling me into a tight hug. I let myself indulge in the comfort of her arms for a few moments before I shrugged out and turned back to the dishes.<p>

"It doesn't even matter any more." I bit, aggressively scrubbing a pan.

"Why wouldn't it matter, honey? That boy came home after you broke his heart, I saw him moping around this town. I'm sure he would love to catch up with you."

"No! No, he's married, mom."

"Oh," she put her hand over her lips for a second. "I didn't know you still felt _that_ way. I thought you just wanted to see him, maybe strike up your old friendship."

"It's Edward, mom. _Edward_," I stressed. "I cant remember a time where I didn't feel _that _way for him."

"I don't know what to say, what to do to make this better for you, baby girl."

"There's… There's nothing anyone can do, ma," I sighed.

She let the conversation drop after that. We finished baking the cookies and when the kitchen was clean, both headed upstairs for bed. She stopped me when I was opening my door, and turned my face towards her.

"Maybe if you, I don't know, spoke to him? Maybe he settled because you left him?" She tried to reason, though I knew she didn't like the idea of me interfering in a marriage.

"I couldn't do that," I shook my head, "For so many reasons."

"But honey, what if-"

I cut her off, "No, just… no." I sighed. Feeling tears start to build, I looked back to my room. "I made my choices, even if I regret them now, I made them. And now, now I need to live with those consequences."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

There's only been 1 person close to guessing some twists... C'mon, I know you all can get creative.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song "Someone Like You', which inspired the title and plot.

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><p>I tossed and turned all night, my thoughts, both waking and slumbering, were of Edward.<p>

Staring across the room to my cork board, I gazed intently at most recent photos I had of him. They weren't recent at all, over eight years old and only weeks before I left him. He had wild hair and scruff so long it was bordering on being a beard, but he was undeniably handsome.

I could remember complaining about the facial hair, how it was scratchy against my skin when we kissed. He would always tell me not to worry, soon enough he wouldn't have the chance to not shave daily. He'd be working, acting like a grown up and taking the business world by storm.

I rubbed my chest, trying to ease the ache, knowing I never got to feel his smooth skin against my own after that conversation. I took off for New York city two weeks later, about the same time he had to resort to using a comb on his furry face.

Rolling onto my back, gazed at the ceiling and tried to imagine how he would look now. Would he be clean shaven or have a neatly trimmed look? What about his hair, would it still be wild and look like someone had been yanking on it just moments before?

I had no idea. And not knowing anything about the man he had become brought tears to my eyes once more.

Reaching into my purse on the nightstand I fumbled for my sleeping pills. After popping two and washing them down with some water, I closed my eyes.

"Tomorrow," I whispered to myself. "Tomorrow I will deal with it all."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

See the bottom of this chapter for a special note. Also, I have decided NOT to post on days that my favorite football team (the New England Patriots) plays. I get too intune with the game and... I end up not being able to focus enough to write.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You', which is inspiration for the plot and title.

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><p>I woke up to knocking on my door and my dad's head peaking in. "Your mom and I are going to the diner to grab some breakfast," he said, then held out a plate with two black squares on it. "You can either join us or brave her… I have no idea what this is, to be honest. I think she said something about French toast."<p>

The diner, I was surprised to find, had been updated in my absence. Redone inside with new booths, tables and paint. I secretly wondered what my dad ate during the renovations.

After the waitress, who had worked their for as long as I could recall, took our orders my mom asked what my plans for the day were.

"Not really sure, figured I could just hang out with you guys."

"Nonsense," dad scoffed. "The Fall Festival is today, I'm sure some of your old friends will be back in town for it. You should meet up with them, go catch up."

I was saved from telling him that I hadn't kept in touch with anyone from high school when a cute kid with crazy auburn hair ran past the table.

"Caleb! Caleb get back over here!" someone called after the child. The boy, Caleb evidently, stopped and looked back to the woman before taking off again.

I smiled slightly, just watching the boy, there was something about him that seemed so familiar. I couldn't put my finger on it though.

"Papa!" the boy exclaimed and took off for the entrance.

My jaw dropped when he jumped into the arms of Carlisle Cullen, Edward's father. And my heart clenched when a petite, dark haired, pregnant woman walked up to them to scold the boy.

"Caleb Carlisle Cullen, what have I told you about running away from me?"

"Sorry, momma," he said softly, batting his green eyes at her.

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><p>I am going to be writing for 3 fandom causes in the next few months. If you are in a position to donate-be it money, stories, beta'ing services or banner making- it would be an amazing thing to do.<p>

First up is **Fandom Gives Back**, benefiting Alex's Lemonade Stand information can be found here: thefandomgivesback(dot) blogspot (dot) com

Then the **Christmas Wishes Compilation**- donations go towards Toys for Tots: christmaswishescompilation (dot) blogspot (dot) com

And finally, **Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes**- this one is very near and dear to me. My 3 year old nephew was diagnosed just 2 days after his second birthday.

fandomajuvdiabetes (dot) blogspot (dot) com


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Sorry guys, it's been an interesting, kind of crazy week. Didn't mean to be fail, just super tired and on some pain meds that make me feel drowsy and sluggish. Should be back to daily updates in the next few days.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You', which is inspiration for the plot and title.

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><p>Quickly I averted my eyes from the scene. There was no doubt in my mind that the child Carlisle was holding belonged to Edward.<p>

Those eyes, they were exact miniature replicas of the ones I used to stare at, the ones that still haunted my dreams.

Edward was a father.

Just when I thought my heart couldn't fracture into anymore pieces it did. I honestly wasn't sure if I could handle anymore without the broken bits getting ground into powder.

I tried not to look at the group seated across the restaurant, but even when my food arrived I couldn't stop my eyes from drifting that way.

The little boy, now that I looked harder at him, was undeniable Edward's. Besides the tint of his hair, everything screamed Edward, but smaller.

I couldn't help but compare myself to the woman that the boy had called 'mommy'. She was the polar opposite of me. Our eyes, hair, skin tone and height were as different as you could find. I wasn't sure if I was comforted by the fact that he had tied himself to someone who was nothing like me or not. Would it have been easier to see him with a clone of myself?

Ignoring my parents completely, I listened as Carlisle spoke with the boy and woman.

"Papa, where's my daddy?" Caleb asked, pulling on Carlisle's cheeks to get his attention.

"He's helping Nana set up for the big festival."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," the boy laughed. "Momma, are you gonna take me to the festi-ball?"

"Fes-tiv-al, baby. And yes, we're going to go with Papa and Auntie Alice and Uncle Jazz," the woman informed, smiling lovingly at her son.

"We see Daddy there?"

"Yes, Daddy will be there, too. Don't you worry."

I looked back down to my barely touched pancakes and sighed. Edward was in town, he'd be out in public today. I knew if I wanted to speak to him the festival would be my best shot at doing so without causing unneeded drama.

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><p>I am going to be writing for 3 fandom causes in the next few months. If you are in a position to donate-be it money, stories, beta'ing services or banner making- it would be an amazing thing to do.<p>

First up is **Fandom Gives Back**, benefiting Alex's Lemonade Stand information can be found here: thefandomgivesback(dot) blogspot (dot) com

Then the **Christmas Wishes Compilation**- donations go towards Toys for Tots: christmaswishescompilation (dot) blogspot (dot) com

And finally, **Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes**- this one is very near and dear to me. My 3 year old nephew was diagnosed just 2 days after his second birthday. fandomajuvdiabetes (dot) blogspot (dot) com


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Things are getting a bit better and I expect to be back to daily updates-or at least every other day.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You', which is inspiration for the plot and title.

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><p>Once back at my parents house I escaped their questioning eyes and hid in my room. I had a lot to think over and didn't need sympathetic stares from them.<p>

I sat on my window bench seat, just gazing into the woods. My mind was swimming with thoughts of what I should do, what was right and if I could live with not trying to tell Edward everything. As I tried to settle on the best course of action, I couldn't help but think of how we ended up in this situation.

Edward had always given into my every want and desire. From where we would go on dates, to wearing a white and hot pink tux to prom. Even college was a concession on his part. We had both gotten into Washington State, he wanted to stay close to family, but I pouted about wanting to be warm and stay together.

In the end he acquiesced, as he always did, and we spent four years in sunny California at UCLA. The only thing he asked of me was that we moved back home after graduation. But a month before our diplomas were handed to us I had been offered a dream position working in New York city. I felt like if I didn't take the job I would regret it forever. But I never thought it would cost me Edward.

When I brought up moving to the east coast Edward flipped out. For the first time in our relationship he had stood up to me. Telling me he was moving home, like we had planned. When I wouldn't budge on my desire to go to New York the fighting got worse, we argued all the time. And a week after graduation I left when Edward was out with his friends, leeavinga note saying I went to New York and I'd be waiting.

Never did I think that weeks, months and then a year would pass and Edward wouldn't have shown up on my door step, begging me to take him back.

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><p>I am going to be writing for 3 fandom causes in the next few months. If you are in a position to donate-be it money, stories, beta'ing services or banner making- it would be an amazing thing to do.<p>

First up is **Fandom Gives Back**, benefiting Alex's Lemonade Stand information can be found here: thefandomgivesback(dot) blogspot (dot) com

Then the **Christmas Wishes Compilation**- donations go towards Toys for Tots: christmaswishescompilation (dot) blogspot (dot) com

And finally, **Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes**- this one is very near and dear to me. My 3 year old nephew was diagnosed just 2 days after his second birthday. fandomajuvdiabetes (dot) blogspot (dot) com


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Things are getting a bit better and I expect to be back to daily updates-or at least every other day.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You', which is inspiration for the plot and title.

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><p>I sat in my room thinking about what I should do until my father called up that he and my mother were leaving and that if I wanted to go with them I better hurry. After seeing my reflection in the mirror, I told him to give me a few. I tried my best to cover up the puffy bags under my eyes and some Visine to hide how red they were.<p>

The fields at the park were filled with carnival rides, food and craft stands. Walking beside my parents we stopped and looked at many different tables. Everyone was surprised and happy to see me. Until we hit Esme and Alice Cullen's knitted goods booth.

After saying hello to my parents, Esme's eyes widened as she took me. "Oh, hello, dear. How have you been?"

"I'm good, thanks. How are you Mrs. Cullen?"

"Don't be silly, it's still Esme," she said with a brush of her hand. "I'm doing fine. Are you back in town for a visit?"

Alice made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a snort before I answered. "Yeah. Just missed mom and dad. Figured I should come home and see them," I turned my attention to Alice. "Are you okay, Alice?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm good," she nodded awkwardly for a second before a huge smile took over her face. She let out a happy squeal, looking behind me. "Even better now that my nephew is here!" Alice ran around the table and off into the crowd.

My stomach knotted up as I turned around. As ready as I thought I had been to see him, nothing could have prepared me when I saw Edward making his way towards the booth.

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><p>I am going to be writing for 3 fandom causes in the next few months. If you are in a position to donate-be it money, stories, beta'ing services or banner making- it would be an amazing thing to do.<p>

For anyone who reads my fic One Hundred Percent, I dontated an outtake from it to **Fandom Gives Back**, benefiting Alex's Lemonade Stand. The outtake features an alternat ending to chapter one and is titled Alternate Angles. Any information can be found here: thefandomgivesback(dot) blogspot (dot) com.

Then the **Christmas Wishes Compilation**- donations go towards Toys for Tots: christmaswishescompilation (dot) blogspot (dot) com

And finally, **Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes**- this one is very near and dear to me. My 3 year old nephew was diagnosed just 2 days after his second birthday. fandomajuvdiabetes (dot) blogspot (dot) com


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sorry about the drop off of posts. No promises, but I'm aiming for every few days. Life has been crazy.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You', which is inspiration for the plot and title.

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><p>Seeing Edward laugh and smile at the woman beside him, the same woman I had seen in the diner, was like a punch to the gut. They both had been watching their little boy run into Alice's arms but when he was safely tucked into his aunt's embrace, the couples focus shifted to each other.<p>

Rubbing his palm over her protruding belly, Edward leaned down to kiss the woman's cheek. Abruptly they stopped, both looking shocked. I could faintly hear him shout, "Oh, my god! I felt that! Our little girl finally kicked for me!"

Not able to watch such an intimate and personal moment I looked away and debated if I'd be able to take off before he made it to his mother's booth. I leaving would be the cowardly thing to do, but I wasn't sure I could handle seeing him so happy when I was miserable.

Just as I started to take a step to flee, the commotion beside me and Esme's squeal stopped me in my tracks. "Edward, look who just stopped by!"

As Edward turned in the direction his mother pointed I gulped. There was no getting out of seeing him now.

When our eyes met I think my heart stopped. His brows were furrowed and he looked so confused and maybe just a bit hurt. Like seeing me, even after all this time could still cause him pain. It took him a moment, then he breathed out one word.

"Tanya?"

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><p>So... Any thoughts on that?<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song that inspired this ficlet and the title.

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><p>"Tanya?" he questioned, staring at me like I was a mirage. "What are you doing here?"<p>

"Just, um, visiting the family, ya, know?" I shrugged my shoulders and tried to smile politely. "How about you?"

"Same," he nodded. "I always come back for the Fall Festival, you know that."

"Yeah," I said, feeling extremely awkward with how this reunion was going, "I do know that."

We were silent for a moment, as was everyone around us. It seemed both of our families were just trying to let everything play out. The whole 'first run in with the ex' thing was way overdue, which was only adding to the tension of it.

With our eyes locked, I took a chance and flicked them towards the woman with him. He noticed and turned to her and pulled her to his side.

"Tanya, I'd like you to meet my wife, Bella." And the way he said her name… it absolutely killed me. It was like those two syllables meant the world to him. He couldn't even keep the smile off his face when he said it.

"And this," he continued and pulled his mini-me in front of him and proudly smiled, "Is my son, Caleb."

"Hi," I waved awkwardly, unsure what I should say or do. To be honest, even if I knew what the proper etiquette was in this situation, my mind was too clouded with other thoughts to follow protocol. Just as I was about to excuse myself, Caleb spoke up and made me stop in my tracks,

"Daddy, she looks like the girl in your picture at Nana and Papa's house. The one with the silly white suit!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Life is crazy and I have been lacking motivation to write much of anything. No promises, but I'm hoping to update again tonight, I want to finish this thing up and I don't foresee many more chapters.

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song Someone Like You, which inspired this fic and it's title.

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><p>"That's because she is that girl, buddy," Edward informed his son while ruffling the boy's hair.<p>

I watched them, tears welling in my eyes. It shocked me that our prom picture was still up at the Cullen's house.

"So," Caleb looked up at me. "That means your friends with my Daddy, right?"

"I, uh,"

"Yeah," Edward said over my splutters. Looking into my eyes he added, "she used to be my best friend."

We stared at each other for a long moment, before I broke the connection. It was too much. I had never really prepared myself for how it would feel to see him again. I thought I knew what it would be like, but I was wrong. So, so wrong.

"If you all will excuse me," I spoke out, each word getting harder to leave my throat. "I need to…" I didn't finish before I turned and ran off.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

****SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song Someone Like You, which inspired the title and plot.

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><p>Without thinking of a specific destination I fled away from Edward, his family and my own. I heard my mom calling out to me, but I didn't stop. I had to get away before the pain in my chest became anymore unbearable.<p>

I dodged through stalls and narrowly avoided knocking people over until I hit the park's bike path. Slowing down to a walk, I stayed on the winding pavement until I came across an unoccupied playground.

Sitting on a swing, I let my tears finally fall. Seeing Edward with his family-_happily with his family-was as enlightening as it was painful. All the mistakes I had made when we split up were becoming crystal clear. Hell, every single thing I had done wrong throughout our entire relationship was now apparent to me._

_I had been selfish in every way a significant other could have been. And because he loved me, he let me get away with it._

_The sound of footsteps crunching over leaves alerted me to someone approaching. After wiping the tears on my cheeks I looked up and saw the last person I expected walking towards me. _


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You' which is the inspiration for the plot and title.

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><p>"Hey," I looked towards him with a watery smile.<p>

"Hey yourself." He walked next to me and grabbed the set of chains next to me. "Is this swing taken?"

Despite the awkward situation, I laughed. He always knew how to break the tension.

Sitting down on the plastic seat, Edward started rocking back and forth lightly for a moment before addressing me. "You know, this isn't how I expected things to go if I ever saw you again."

"No? What did you envision?"

"Well, for a while, right after you left, I was hoping you'd come find me with your figurative tail tucked between you legs. And when that didn't happen I got angry. Really fucking angry."

"Rightfully so," I agreed. "You don't feel that way now?"

"No, I don't."

"What made your feelings change?"

"Honestly?" He asked, and I nodded. "Bella."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

SM owns Twilight, Adele owns the song 'Someone Like You' which is the inspiration for the plot and title.

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><p>I wasn't sure what to say. Hearing that the only reason Edward didn't hate me was because of his wife was a bitter pill to swallow.<p>

"I don't say that to be an ass, Tanya. I'm just saying it, because it's true."

"I know," I whispered.

"I felt like it was me against the world for a while after we spilt. But when I met Bella, I knew she was special. I fought it though. I was so scared of being hurt again."

"Edward," I sighed. "I never meant for that-"

"You don't need to apologize. Getting to know her and falling for her taught me a lot of things about life. Things I'm not sure I would have learned with you." he paused, but seeing my face he amended his words. "That's not a bad thing. Loving you was easy, I could have done it without question for my entire life."

"But you don't anymore, do you?" I asked, smiling sadly.

"Not in the same way. I'll always have love for you, Tan. You helped make me who I am. But Bella? Bella completes my soul, my heart, my everything."


	18. Chapter 18

I couldn't speak., didn't know how I was supposed to respond. Being told that losing the person you loved helped them find what they thought was their other half was gut wrenching. All I could do was look at him as my eyes welled up. It was only when the first tear dropped that Edward spoke.

"I don't want you to feel bad. In fact, I feel really grateful towards you. Your desire to follow your dreams, to make a life for yourself gave me what I needed, I have a career in Seattle, I'm close to my parents and sister, and I have a wonderful and loving family. Thank you for being selfish enough to know it wasn't what you needed then and having the courage to go after everything you wanted."

"You're thanking me for breaking your heart?"

"I guess you could say that," Edward laughed. He then reached over and took my hand, giving it a squeeze. "I hope you know, I still think our life together could have been great. I can't regret our time together, I wouldn't change a thing and I hope you feel the same."

The look in his eyes as spoke was so sincere. Seeing the truth from his perspective, though it caused me to ache, also brought a bit of clarity my way.

"I wouldn't change it either. I'm glad you found all you wanted, I just hope I'm not too late the next time love comes my way."


End file.
